Follow along and read about how Ryan spent his final days surrounded by those he loved the most... his FAMILY.

You can follow my blog at: Our life in Letters to Ryan

September 11, 2009

Thank you

My First Post:
Well, It's 1:30 am in the morning and I've already needed my sheets changed 4 times due to night sweats. I've only been in the hospital for two days now and I miss Max and Hallie so much. As I'm lying here feeling sorry for myself, I keep thinking about the poem that Margie put in a previous post (Please skip to the bottom post and read it if you haven't). The poem was given to us by the Astle family as part of a gift when I was diagnosed back in June, and it is talks about what cancer cannot do. It has been something that has helped keep me going through all of this, because even now as I lay here typing with tears streaming down my face, I know that cancer cannot take away all the love, prayers, and kindness that every one of you have given to me. This is the hardest thing that I've ever done and I know that these next few weeks are going to be even harder....... but I'll keep fighting. I love you all and am grateful to have met so many great people in my life .

Love Ryan

If you're wondering what the picture has to due with the post it was just a picture that I have always liked. I have enjoyed looking at old pictures a lot lately and this one was taken when Margie and I got our first Christmas tree. This was a couple of miles away from my house in Smoot Wyoming. We used snowshoes to get to the tree and Hallie slept most of the time in a child carrier on my back.


Lisa said...

Hang in there Ryan!!!

Seth and Julie said...

Welcome to blogging Ryan!

Sorry last night was so brutal. Just remember that you have power that cancer does not...NOTHING IS TOO HARD FOR THE LORD.

Keep fighting! Big hugs!

We love you.

Katelin said...

You have more strength than I can imagine, and we'll be praying that you'll be even stronger through the next few weeks. All of you. Lots of love!

Gha said...

Ryanstone, I wish so bad that I could take some of your suffering, but I know that I can't. I also know, though that the Savior has felt everything you are going through and you're not alone. As small of an effort as it feels to me, you are always in my prayers and I know that with the Lord's help, you will make it through this. Hang in there!

carolynbeth said...

We are praying for you! You can do it!

The Delgado's (all 9 of us) said...

Oh, Ryan. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family often. As I was reading your post this scripture came to my mind that helped me once.

"We are troubled on every sdie, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;
Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed."
2 Corinthians 4:8-9

Hang in there. Sometimes when you're in the refiner's fire, you feel like you're getting burned, but in reality you're getting purified. I know the Lord loves your and your family and is walking with you.
We love you and your family and will continue to pray for you! Take care! -Cortney

Erin S said...

We love you Ryan! You are always in our thoughts and prayers. Hang in there!

LISA said...

Lots of love, hugs and kisses from the Aunt Lisa and the entire T Fam!!! It's a rough road, but your body IS fighting this disease. Your family is taken care of, concentrate on fighting and healing. Need to come to CA during holidays so I can teach you how to make tamales AND you can teach me how to make your fabulous traditional popcorn!!! Wrapping my arms around you for a BIG hug!

Stacey Mom said...

It's hard to understand why Heavenly Father gives some people the challenges he does. I'm amazed at your strength and the strength of your wife. I'm sure your both have moments where you don't feel strong, but I've been inspired by the two of you. I don't understand why, but I know Heavenly Father loves us all just as we love our little ones. Please take care Ryan and know that I am praying for you.

The Collard Clan said...

Pres. Eyring once said, " The savior went through pain we could not bear and which we can only faintly comprehend...he knows from experience how to heal and help us. Even when you feel the kindness of the Lord deliver you from your trials it may still test your courage and strength to endure. But the ones who accept the trail as an invitation to grow...can find peace in the midst of the struggle."
Thinking and praying for you and your family Always!
Hang in there.
-Jenni (Wolfley)

Stacie said...

I can think of nothing to say, with tears running down my face as well, only that we know how you feel all the way. Cancer sucks, but beat it you can!!!
My chloe more than anyone, she fought it twice!!
Love the England family

Heather said...

Thanks for sharing such a personal time in your life. It has been a blessing for me to see the strength of you and your family. Hang in there.

Us Willis' said...

We love you Ryan and wish we could've started school sooner so we could've done more together. You're an inspiration and keep fighting. You and your family are in our prayers and thoughts always. We know you can beat made it through podiatry right :)

Heather n Ryan said...

Oh are so strong, and inspiring! We continue to pray for you and your family always. Hang in there.

peter said...

Your the toughest guy I know, keep it up. Hang in there.

Sabrina Smith said...

Its good to hear some good news this month. Things have not been so good for our family. Your in my prayers everyday. And I know you will be able to beat this horrible disease. The kids school is doing a fund raiser for Stand Up to Cancer. And on tuesday the whole school is going to form a circle around the school to show their support. Hope they can find a cure soon for this thing so no more families will have to suffer. Glad you guys are on facebook. It will be easier for me to keep up with your progress. Go Team Ryan. Love from your S FL family.

Theresa said...

Ryan, you are such an inspiration. Your fight has touched so many. Praying for you, as always.

Tornado Alley said...

Hi Ryan, Margie, and kids,
We're friends of Seth's... but wanted you to know that since we heard several months ago, we've been thinking about you and praying for you. We'll keep praying, fasting, and wishing for the best. The Lord knows all your hurt and suffering. I'm sure He is helping and will continue to help you and your family through this difficult time. Take care and hang in there!
With love,
Enrique, Danielle and family

Taylor & Darin Thomas said...

I too like looking at old photos that bring a smile to my face of the memory. Good memories give good thoughts and good endorphins! and we are thinking of all the good times we've shared with you guys as our neighbors; it seems so long ago! I wish our families could have take more nature walks together etc! You are fighting a good fight and we know you'll beat this!

MG said...

You're in our prayers every day, Ryan. Keep your spirits up... you are so strong. Love, Meeghan and Raymond Giles

Camille said...

This post brought tears to my eyes. My heart is just breaking for your family. I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of this. Your strength is so inspiring. Hang in there Hess'!

Lots of love and prayers from over here!