Follow along and read about how Ryan spent his final days surrounded by those he loved the most... his FAMILY.

You can follow my blog at: Our life in Letters to Ryan

July 27, 2010

Car Conversations...

Hallie: Mom...what's wrong? Why are you crying?
Hallie: What's wrong Mom? Mom...
Hallie: Mom, why are you crying?

Me: Because... (still not able to answer)

Hallie: Why are you crying Mom?

Me: Because I really miss Dad right now...

Hallie takes our her notepad and starts writing a note (she LOVES to write notes) and then hands it to me.

It reads: I bet Dad is prople sitting next to you. Love, Hallie

Hallie: Mom, see that word right there, that says probably. I just wanted you to know

Me: Aww, thanks Hallie, that is a really nice note.

(Then she leans forward and taps her hand on the passenger side seat)

Hallie: Like RIGHT HERE Mom, I bet Dad is sitting right here!

Then she hands me her special stuffed animal that has a voice recorded message from Ryan inside of it. I play it once, it brings a smile to my face and the comfort I needed, I wipe my tears, thank Hallie and we continue on with the drive.

Then an hour or so later...

Hallie: Hey mom, do you like driving home?

Me: Not really, but it's okay...

Hallie: Well, if I had a magic wand, I would make it so you would be home instantly and then
you wouldn't have to drive anymore!

Me: That would be ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL, I'd LOVE that Sweetie!!!!!

Max: Ya and if I had a magic wand, I'd have MORE magic wands!

Hallie: And you know what else I would do with that magic wand?

Me: What?

Hallie: I would bring daddy back...
Max: Me too, me too!!!! I'd bring Daddy back!!!

Hallie: He would come back being sick though
Max: Ya, Daddy would be sick

Hallie: ... and THEN, we would put ALL our magic wands together and make him not sick
anymore and then he could give us piggy back rides and he would be able to hug you
really strong. That would be GREAT huh Mom?

Me: (as tears are streaming down my face because I wish that could be true) Yes, that
would be wonderful!!!

That little Hallie sure knows how to cheer me up and add that extra bit of sunshine I need to brighten my day. She is a special little girl and I am so lucky to have her happiness, light and love in my life.

July 21, 2010

Pretty NEAT...

I received this in my INBOX YESTERDAY:
Based on reader votes, you are a finalist for the 2010 BlogLuxe Awards! Thank you for writing such organized/amazing/beautiful/hilarious/inspiring/fun/over the edge/tasty/downright awesome blogs!

Two winners from each category chosen by our VIP "Academy" will be announced at the Avery SocialLuxe Lounge in New York City on August 5, 2010.
Thank you to everyone that voted and most importantly...
THANK YOU to everyone that has come along and been a part of Team Ryan. To everyone who has supported Ryan and our entire family throughout this journey, we couldn't have done it without all your LOVE and SUPPORT.
To all of YOU- Thank you SO MUCH!
Love to ALL
(More posts coming soon... I've been enjoying a lilttle vacay with the fam)

July 4, 2010

4th of July reminiscing...

The past week has been hard for many reasons. Lots of 1sts and lots of reminiscing...

It was exactly one year ago today that Ryan was released from the hospital after undergoing his first round of chemo. After 3 weeks in the hospital, we couldn't have asked for a better way to spend our 4th of July. It truly was an INDEPENDENCE DAY.

As much as I wish he were still here to celebrate this 4th of July with us tonight... I know that he is free from so many other things that confined him over this past year. That knowledge brings me so much peace and I know that he is ALWAYS near in spirit.

I am proud and grateful to be an American.
I so very thankful for all my freedoms that I can enjoy on a daily basis because of honorable service people who have fought and who continue to fight for all of us- THANK YOU!

So much to be grateful for, ALWAYS...

Happy 4th of JULY