I wanted to let everyone know that a lot has happened in the past week. Ryan has not been doing well and we knew things were not looking good. At his appointment this week, we were told that more treatment is not an option at this point because his body is not recovering the way it needs to in order to receive more chemo.

So, we will be starting hospice today and the doctor is giving Ryan approximately 2 weeks.

Although we feel much sadness, we also have so much joy in our hearts with the knowledge that we have:

We KNOW that this is God's will and that Ryan will return to be with our Heavenly Father, free of pain and sickness... he will be whole again. We KNOW that because we were married and sealed together in God's holy house, that we will be a family, forever. We KNOW that the Lord will continue to provide the strength and comfort that we will need to get through this. We KNOW that God loves us and we are NOT alone.

"When thou are in tribulation, and all these things are come upon thee, even in the latter days, if thou turn to the Lord thy God, and shalt be obedient unto his voice; (For the Lord thy God is a merciful God; he will not forsake thee...)" Deuteronomy 4:30-31

Thank you all for the continued prayers, fasts and for all the love and support!

*UPDATE*

Monday

At Ryan's appointment, he was running a slight fever. They did the standard tests to check for any possible infection: blood and urine cultures, and scheduled a CAT scan. We were hoping for chemo, but his platelets were TOO low to receive more. Ryan's platelet count was only at 17 and they need to be at least 50 for more treatment....

Tuesday

Had the CAT scan

Wednesday

All tests came back negative. The CAT scan showed that his pneumonia is improving, but otherwise, nothing new. His hemoglobin was very low and he received two units of red blood for a nice little boost. Again, we were hoping for more chemo, but his platelets were still lagging. They did jump a tad bit ( to 21), but still not nearly enough.

So why NO platelet transfusion to bump up the platelets?

Every time Ryan has a platelet transfusion, his counts only increase by 2 or 3. Since the increase is so small, It would take WAY to many transfusions to get him to 50.

***

Ryan needs chemo in order to help suppress the cancer. Getting the cancer under control will allow him another shot at his brothers stem cells. Right now, Ryan is in limbo waiting for these counts to rise, which is NOT good for his aggressive cancer.

Ryan is still coughing quite a bit because of the pneumonia, but the cough is doing MUCH better. The mucositis is still painful, but Ryan is finally able to get softer foods and certain liquids down.

The next appointment for labs and check up is on Monday.

*Please pray that Ryan can continue to heal and that his counts can rise, so he can start treatment once again*

Keep up the fight Ry

We LOVE you

***GO TEAM RYAN***

HOME!

Ryan is HOME!

After 24 hours of being fever-free, they decided it was time to give Ryan the BOOT. He has been taking it easy and just enjoying every minute with the family.

He has an appointment today to see if he is ready for more chemo. His platelets need to be at least 50 in order to receive more... as of Saturday, they were only 13.

Let's hope his platelets continue to rise so he can get MORE chemo and get this cancer UNDER control!

***GO TEAM RYAN***

A lot can change in 24 hours...

In case you didn't read the previous post...Ryan came home yesterday.

Guess where WE are headed?

Did you think since Ryan was released just not even 24 hours ago, that we were hitting the road and getting out of town?

Ha...we wish!

Unfortunately, Ryan was running a fever this morning and they told him he needed to come back in for observation.

So here we are pulling up to Ryan's FAVORITE place:

Good ole' UMC- he just CAN'T get enough of it!

As of yesterday, Ryan has spent 3 of his last 10 months in the hospital. It really has become his 2nd home.

Driving in the car, we realized that Ryan still hadn't even taken these off from yesterday:

GEEZ, he hadn't even been home for 24 hours!!!!!!

BUT, Ryan still continues to be happy...

...and knows that he will just keep ON fighting, whether in the hospital, or at home!

KEEP UP THE FIGHT

***GO TEAM RYAN***

Non-stop SMILES :)

Ryan had a MUCH better week!

His WBC stayed around 4.2 (which is GREAT), and as the days went on, his mucositis and pneumonia got a little better.

Since Ryan was doing better, we started bringing in the kids to see Ryan. A visit to see Dad wouldn't be complete without:

...some of Dad's food

...love notes

and OF COURSE...

a TEAM RYAN sign

Courtesy of the kids and nieces and nephews

Ryan LOVED each and EVERY second with the kids. He just smiles and watches everything they do- he misses them SO much!

*

Ryan was even feeling well enough to slurp down a little of this:

~YUM~

&

see his cute and chubby lil' niece

&

visit with his sister and nephew

He had such a great visit and a BIG ole' smile on his face!

*

Why the random IV pole...and where is Ryan?

Here he is...

WITHOUT his "ball and chain"

One night, Ryan was able to get about 6 hours without having to be hooked up to his IV. He was so happy and LOVING the freedom!

As the week went on, and things continued to improve, it was time to start making the transition to going home. Ryan went off the PCA pump and started taking MOST of his meds orally. His fluid retention was still pretty bad and they needed to get the water weight off before he could come home. In one day, he lost about 15 pounds of WATER WEIGHT, and boy it felt great! During the week, he was struggling with his oxygen intake and needed some O2 for walks and nighttime.

Here he is getting ready for a walk

Of course we have to find humor in things...

Ryan frequently joked that he felt like an OLD MAN because he had an oxygen tank.

WHATEV Ry!

We had so much to push around, that we took up MUCH of the hallway. On walks, Ryan pushed his IV pole and whoever was with him, was the lucky PUSHER of this little guy:

Walking was NOT the highlight of Ryan's day, but all the nurses LOVED seeing Ryan out and about!

*

Then last night (Weds), a little someone pulled her tooth out and was SUPER excited to show her Dad

During her prayer, she said, "Please bless the Tooth Fairy to fly here safely..."

I couldn't help but smile...it was too CUTE?

*

So WHY are we all still smiling?

????????????

***

???????

**

????

*

?

That's RIGHT!!!!

He's home...and we COULDN'T be happier!

Welcome HOME Ry

WBC on the RISE and some GOOD NEWS!

So the past few days we've been MIA...

Nothing new- the pneumonia was still lingering, Ryan's mouth was in pain and he had been recieving blood products EVERY day:

(Ryan's red blood is now stable, but his platelets continue to be VERY low)

Between the different meds and lack of sleep, Ryan was exhausted. Since we were not bringing the kids in to visit and he couldn't talk, he often texted Hallie and I to keep in touch. Here he is trying his hardest to text Hallie back:

During this time, Ryan started retaining fluid, gaining about 30 pounds in a couple of days.

So standing HURT like crazy:

Then, over the past few days his WBC went from

.3 => .5 => 2.1 Then today it JUMPED to over 4!

And when the WBC comes up, things start to get a little better!

He has been able to eat a tad bit more...

He was able to visit longer and go for walks...

-&-

Stay awake long enough to watch some conference...

But this is how I knew he was feeling better:

I was in bed resting and I looked up to see Ry on the computer. I asked him what he was up to and he replied, "Just reading..."

Me: What are you reading? (I was pretty sure I knew)

Ryan: Oh, just Motor Trend...

I KNEW he was feeling MUCH better to be reading articles and forums on the Motor Trend website :)

* * *

EASTER SUNDAY

We decided to do something fun for the kids because it had been about a week since they last visited Ryan.

The Easter Bunny left a note saying that something special was waiting for them at the hospital...

They were able to see their Dad and get their Easter baskets. How great it was to be together as a family, not letting a hospital stay get in the way of our fun!

*

Ryan had a MUCH better day today.

He is improving so much, that he may be coming home in 2-3 days!

We have so much to be thankful for...

Happy Easter

***Go TEAM Ryan***

Counts that DONT want to come up

Yesterday, the mouth sores and cough still weren't improving much. Luckily, Ryan was not coughing nearly as frequently as he once was before. In the morning, Ryan started running a fever of 102...NOT good. The fever really has the team puzzled because they just can't get on top of this infection and figure out what it could be...

In order to find out EXACTLY what is brewing in those lungs, a bronchoscopy needs to be done:

They have been putting it off since Saturday because Ryan's platelet and WBC count are so low. They don't want to put him at risk of bleeding or getting an infection from the procedure, especially with these counts:

WBC- .2

Platelets- 11

It posses a HUGE RISK.

The pulmonary team is divided. One feels they need to be aggressive and should go ahead with the procedure. Another says, lets wait a day, give a more BROAD spectrum of antibiotics and hope this time...they get on top of it. The third Dr, who is the one we met with, feels torn...she did say though, if it were her husband, she would wait.

Ryan and I both didn't feel good about doing the procedure today. Instead, we put it off until THURSDAY. Hoping and praying that with some time, the new antibiotics will help to improve Ryan's overall health.

Since Ryan's counts were so low yesterday, he got blood products all day long. 2 units of red blood and 1 unit of platelets. They did labs after all the transfusions and his hemoglobin went up from 7.9 to 9.6, but his platelet count DROPPED!

It went from 11 to below 5!

FIVE!?!

He needed more platelets immediately and received more last tonight. The nurses and I kept a VERY close eye on him, to make sure he didn't bump into anything or fall.

(Platelets help your blood clot)

Meanwhile, Ryan received a blessing... something we are very grateful for.

After checking his counts after the 2nd platelet transfusion, they barely climbed from 5 to 7. So in the middle of the night, he received more. His platelet count today was 15.

After the 3 transfusions, his counts still aren't great, but 15 is not NEARLY as dangerous as a count of 5.

*

TODAY

(Wednesday)

Ryan had a better day today. He ate a little breakfast, showered and was even awake enough to check the last two posts (and comments) on the blog. His mucositis, cough and pneumonia are all about the same. The team is HOPING his white blood count starts the upward climb very soon. They feel as his WBC rises, his mouth and pneumonia will improve greatly!

The team also feels that all the different meds may be doing their job and getting to that infection. Therefore, they feel the bronchoscopy may not be necessary, especially with his platelets so ridiculously low. This afternoon, Ryan had a chest x-ray done to check on the pneumonia. We should get those results back tomorrow...

At this point, there is NO action plan because Ryan's counts are ALWAYS changing.

Being in the hospital is no fun, but Ryan continues to be hopeful and still manages to be silly and make me laugh.

Before I left today, I asked him what he wanted for Easter. I think you know the reply:

"I just want to be out of here"

Keep up the fight Ry, and we'll keep up the prayers!

***GO TEAM RYAN***

Hanging in there...

Things are still about the same.

The mucositis is bad, the double pneumonia is hanging around and the cough is really thick. Ryan's WBC is still low, but rose to .2 today!

Yesterday, he was having trouble with urinary retention, so he didn't want to take as many pain meds. He was fine as long as he was sleeping, but whenever he woke up... poor mouth, poor Ry!

Since the pain is still very intense, and to help with urinary retention, they are changing up Ryan's pain meds. They also decided to start the PCA pump:

So now, instead of asking for his pain meds... Ryan just pushes this little button:

and some medicine is pumped right into his IV.

*

It is so hard for him to eat/drink ANYTHING. If he can get something down (when the pain is somewhat under control), he coughs SO much. When it DOES go down, sometimes it comes back up a few minutes later (from coughing...not nausea).

Luckily, he has this HANDY DANDY tool:

It really helps with getting all the mucus and sloughed off skin out of his mouth/throat.

*

After breakfast, it's usually time to take a shower. The IV has to be covered to keep any moisture out.

So fun to take a shower with tubes and coverings all over you....

YA RIGHT!

*

But GUESS WHAT?!?

NOT anymore!

The team felt it was best to get rid of the IV and put in a PICC line.

Here's a look:

It is somewhat similar to the the central lines Ryan once had, although this is a smaller line and MUCH less invasive.

Ryan getting his veins checked

There it is...the PICC line before it is inserted

The procedure went GREAT and Ryan is enjoying having his new line.

*

Even though Ryan isn't feeling great, he is doing a little BETTER than yesterday. He was able to go for a walk today, the first time since THURSDAY!

And through it all, he still manages to crack a smile

Keep FIGHTING Ry

***GO TEAM RYAN***

Fast tomorrow

The Fellow came in this morning and said they had some results back from the CAT scan.

Ryan for SURE has pneumonia in the left lower lung and possibly some starting on the right.

The pulmonologist later came in to discuss what happens next...to biopsy or not?

Ryan's platelets are still low and they worry about doing anything that can cause bleeding. They have decided to hold off on the biopsy until tomorrow and see if any of the new antibiotics will help.

They are getting the cough under better control and managing the pain very well. He is currently eating breakfast (YAY) and feeling MUCH better then yesterday (WaHOO!)

He will receive another unit of platelets today

KEEP FIGHTING

We are going to be doing a special fast for Ryan tomorrow, please join and spread the word!

(LOTS of pictures below from our trip to Star Valley )

Good times...

I thought it was time to post some FUN, HAPPY pictures.

If you're not in the mood for looking at beautiful scenery and smiling faces, then this post isn't for you.

I'm warning you now... its gonna be a LONG post.

*ENJOY*

We got on the plane bright and early- 6am. It didn't matter though, everyone was so excited to go to Grandma and Grandpa's house in Star Valley, Wy.

The kids traveled wonderfully and sitting in the front row was an added bonus. Yay for short flights and happy kids.

We were on a tiny plane, so we stepped off the plane right onto the tarmac. Max was in AWE because when he got off the plane, this rolled up right next to us:

Little helper:

Once in the car, we had a 3.5 hour drive home...

Half way home, we had to slow down because we got caught in the middle of a cattle drive.

I ONLY took a picture for the sake of this blog and YOUR viewing pleasure

This guy was probably thinking, "Ugh... tourist"

*

Once we arrived home, the kids wasted NO time in getting dressed so they could go outside and play. We couldn't have asked for better weather during out stay.

Ryan enjoying the cool winter weather

Does this suit look familiar?

L.O.V.E it!

*

Throughout most of the trip, Ryan wasn't feeling too good. He had a bad cough that kept him up at night. During the day he was VERY tired and sometimes feverish, so he spent a lot of time sleeping. He was able to rest much and play little. However, from the front room couch he could look out and see this:

*

Yes, choosing to leave may have been somewhat rash, but it was therapeutic and peaceful. Despite the fact that Ryan wasn't able to get out and play all day like he hoped, he had a great time visiting with family and friends...

Sadly, I didn't take pictures of everyone we were able to visit.

Thank you to EVERYONE who came from near and far...it meant so much- THANK YOU!

*

The kids had a BLAST sledding and I LOVED being able to capture their joy through the camera

*So MUCH fun*

Ryan got to feeling well enough to come outside for about 15 minutes to pull the kids behind the 4 wheeler.

What a happy RY...

...and Excited kids

Then Ryan let each kid push the gas during a ride

Oh, they loved EVERY minute of it!

*

Poor Leo, Hallie was bossing him around 24/7. I felt so bad for him, that I went out and bought him some YUMMY biscuits so I could kind of compensate for his "torture"

*

I love the fact that Ryan's mom saved these SWEET moon boots- SO Napoleon Dynomite

*

We headed into "town" which is about 10 minutes from Ryan's house... good ole' Afton, Wyoming.

Here is the world's LARGEST Elkhorn Arch:

I was excited to come here:

I love coming here to look at all the toys. You can get good toys for much more reasonable prices. Since the kids were so good traveling, we let them each pick out a toy.

Chillin' at King's while I looked around

Then we went to Rocky Mountain Seafood for dinner- YUMMMmmmm

*

Max was SO excited to help Grandpa plow the driveway

and I enjoyed making some homemade granola

*

Ryan stored up enough energy to take Max for a short 4 wheeler ride

...and succeeded at getting it stuck

Max wearing Ryan's jacket from when he was little:

*

The kids were SO excited to see their cousins from Idaho. They packed so much into the 2 days they saw eachother: crafts, cooking, tv watching, fake nails, GINORMOUS fort making, snow play, hot tubbing and all the laughter (and sometimes tears) that come with visiting cousins

Braiden getting Uncle Ry with his mini light saber/sword

*

Ryan's little brother, Mitchell also came up with a "friend." It was SO nice to meet his "friend" and see how much the kids LOVED her...

Thank you M & S for being so much FUN as you entertained the kids!

Here we are looking SILLY...

Mitchell said if we shook our face really fast and took a picture it would make our cheeks look crazy. Ummmm... I don't think our cheeks looked crazy, more like our entire face!

LOVE these two guys:

*

Oh how hard it was to pick from over 300 pictures for this post.

I hope you all enjoyed a little glimpse of the fun we had on our short trip to SV

***

TODAY

Ryan had 2 units of Red Blood and 1 more unit of platelets. His chest X-ray came back positive for Pneumonia, not to worry, some of the doctors feel it is only a VERY mild case. They aren't too concerned because he is currently on so many antibiotics that at least ONE of them will take care of it.

Food/drink wise, he barely got anything down earlier today. They are trying different combinations of meds for pain management. Although, it isn't always the sores that keep him from eating, but the THICK mucus in his throat. The mucus is caused by both his cough/cold and the mucositis.

Tonight, he was finally able to get down one of these containers of tapioca pudding

We made these containers full of thinned out, HIGH CAL soups and puddings. We keep these at the hospital because sometimes the hospital food just isn't very tasty or mouth sore friendly.

If Ryan can't increase his calories in the next few days, he is going to be put on IV nutrition (TPN). Since the mouth sores are SO bad, the doctors said there will be NO chemo on Monday. This will allow Ryan's counts to come up and his mouth to heal.

The kids stopped by today and were eager to see Dad

Ryan's mom called tonight and said he was getting a CAT scan of his chest to check his lungs. We should hopefully get those results tomorrow.

Ryan is fighting the fight and fighting HARD. I am amazed at his strength through all of this and cannot help but think of this scripture, "...blessed is he...that is faithful in tribulation. For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand." Doctor and Covenants 122:5&9

How grateful I am for his example of strength and courage, and most importantly, for a loving Heavenly Father that hears and answers prayers.

KEEP FIGHTING RYAN

***GO TEAM RYAN***