4th of July reminiscing...

The past week has been hard for many reasons. Lots of 1sts and lots of reminiscing...

It was exactly one year ago today that Ryan was released from the hospital after undergoing his first round of chemo. After 3 weeks in the hospital, we couldn't have asked for a better way to spend our 4th of July. It truly was an INDEPENDENCE DAY.

As much as I wish he were still here to celebrate this 4th of July with us tonight... I know that he is free from so many other things that confined him over this past year. That knowledge brings me so much peace and I know that he is ALWAYS near in spirit.

I am proud and grateful to be an American.

I so very thankful for all my freedoms that I can enjoy on a daily basis because of honorable service people who have fought and who continue to fight for all of us- THANK YOU!

So much to be grateful for, ALWAYS...

Happy 4th of JULY

Thank YOU!

I got a pretty cool e-mail last night...

Someone(s) has nominated TEAM RYAN over at Social LUXE Lounge for the MOST Inspiring blog.

THANK YOU- It means a lot!

* Actual BlogLuxe award has no cash value. The goal of the BlogLuxe awards is to encourage recognition amongst peers.

1 vote PER day

Go HERE to vote or click the button on the sidebar.

Seriously...

THANK YOU for all the support that you have shown our family.

TEAM RYAN FOREVER

A telling fortune...

After a soccer-filled day, Ryan had a special visit from his boss, Dr. Dancho. Dr. Dancho presented Ryan with a certificate of completion of his 1st year of his residency.

With his first year under his belt, he could officially perform surgery.

Way to GO Ry!

Ryan showing the family his certificate

Ryan was excited and proud of a 1st year well done. It meant a lot for him to receive the certificate. He was so happy that he wanted to go out and celebrate and treat everyone for dinner. He was craving Chinese... so off we went for some YUMMY Chinese food.

Ry and his little sis, Jessica

Ry and his sister, Jennifer

Everyone reading their fortunes

Then Ryan picks up his fortune.

(Keep in mind that there was 12 of us at the restaurant)

Out of the 12 fortunes, this is the one Ryan picked and it read:

After Ryan read this, I started crying and Hallie says, "That's right Daddy, you're almost to heaven!"

Ryan looked up at her with a smile on his face and said, "Yup..."

I keep the fortune in my wallet and take a look at it now and then.

He IS there...

and that knowledge brings so much comfort and peace.

~Love You~

FOREVER TEAM RYAN

POSTS COMING SOON

I have been horrible about putting these final posts out and I DO have good reasons :)

1) I have had family in town helping me get back into the swing of things and I've LOVED spending every minute with them.

2) The more I post= the sooner the blog will come to an end. The THOUGHT of this blog ending is sad for me for many reasons. I don't want to DRAG it out, but I am not in any HUGE rush either. Bare with me...

Please don't forget about TEAM RYAN!

There are plenty more memories to be shared with ALL of you

The journey...

It was this very week, one year ago, that Ryan had his first bone marrow biopsy, found out the exact type of cancer he had, was told he had less than a 50% chance to live and that he would start chemo within days. It was a LOT to take in all at once, but Ryan had no hesitation. He knew what he was going to be fighting for... his family, his life and everything that he loved.

He fought, and he fought HARD. He fought until there was nothing more that modern medicine could do to help him.

*

He began this journey surrounded by family and love, and he ended this journey surrounded by family and love.

The journey of living, laughing, putting complete trust and faith in God, and making the MOST out of life with those he LOVED the most...

his family.

*

And so, I begin the final chapters of Ryan's journey...

The day we found out that there was NOTHING more that could be done medically to help Ryan, was the day that we told the kids that Daddy was going to die.

That night, we kept Hallie up and talked JUST to her. It was hard, for all of us. We tried to make the conversation as joyous and peaceful as possible and in doing so, Ryan explained several things. He told her that he would ALWAYS be with us, that he would be FREE from all pain and sickness, and most importantly, that he was going to return Home to Heavenly Father and Jesus.

Ryan then asked Hallie if she had any special things she wanted to do with him and she said, "I want you to come to my book fair and make cookies with me."

The next morning, he headed off to the book fair with his little girl:

While in the book fair, Hallie's teacher (Mrs. Nelson) just happened to walk in and said that the class had just finished planting a tree for Earth Day in Ryan's honor...

The Ryan Hess Memorial Tree

It is so neat that Hallie will be able to see this tree EVERY day at school. Another reminder for her of her Dad and the LOVE that so many people have for him and our family.

***

I skipped out in mentioning a while back that Ryan had created a bucket list. A couple of the things on that list were:

1) Buy and restore a (1968-1972) Chevy Truck

2) Take Margie to Hawaii or some other tropical place

Well, around his birthday, he found a 1970 Chevy Truck. He went and looked at it and really, it was LOVE at first sight! He wanted it and wanted it bad. He gave me EVERY reason why to get it, and I think I gave him every reason why we shouldn't get a third (clunker of a) car. Then he says, "Margie, it was one of the things on my bucket list... I've ALWAYS wanted a truck around this year. I found it! It's in GREAT condition and it has a SWEET motor- You will LOVE it!"

How could I say "NO" to that?!? He had found his DREAM car!!!

We all began to love his truck. And Yes, I do love the motor- it does sound pretty dang sweet!!!

The kids LOVED going for rides with Dad in the truck and Ryan LOVED revving his engine in the garage and around town.

He really only got to enjoy his truck for about 3 weeks before his cancer came back. When he was in the hospital, he would ask if we were starting the truck up for him. Upon each arrival home, it was one of the FIRST things he would do. Sometimes he was too sick to drive it around, but he would at least start it up, just to hear that "SWEET motor..."

He wanted to take it to Hallie's book fair, so here are my two FAVORITE boys:

♥ them!

*

By that weekend, all our family was out and we were ALL able to enjoy the kids playing soccer.

This was a picture of Max after he scored his FIRST goal! He took it down and scored into his OWN team's goal. Just look at that happy face...he was SO proud and we were too.

I think of everything that happened at the soccer games, this next picture meant the MOST to me. Ryan was really weak during his final weeks and he had to use a wheelchair a good majority of the time. Getting up and moving around required a lot of work and effort.

I don't think the kids realized how neat it was for Ryan to get up to do this...

but it is something I won't EVER forget.

***

We are a forever family...

Forever TEAM RYAN HESS

(more posts coming soon)

Not done yet...

Just wanted to let you all know that TEAM RYAN isn't done...

I have debated what to do with the blog and I think the BEST thing is to post all the wonderful memories that were made during Ryan's final weeks. I knew I couldn't end the blog with his passing. Ryan's love of life and his family, are so present in so many pictures that I just couldn't pass them up...

I can't wait to share them with you.

"...this earthly existence is merely a twinkle in the eye of eternity."

-Joseph B. Wirthlin

Memorial Service Information

There will be two services- Arizona and Wyoming

ARIZONA MEMORIAL SERVICE

When: Saturday May 22, 2010

Where: Sahuarita LDS Church

17699 S Camino De Las Quintas

SAHUARITA, AZ 85629

Time: 10-11:45- Viewing

12pm- Funeral Service

WYOMING VIEWING

When: Wendsday May 26, 2010

Where: Schwab Funeral Home

44 East 4th Avenue

Afton, WY 83110

Time: 7-9pm

WYOMING FUNERAL SERVICE

When: Thursday May 27, 2010

Where: Smoot LDS Church

3166 State Highway 241

Afton, WY 83110

Time: 10-11:45- Viewing

12pm- Funeral Service

Ryan peacefully passed away today after fighting the good fight.

I know so many of us prayed and hoped for a miracle of healing in this earthy life... Yet, there were miracles happening before our eyes. I could go on and on about miracles that blessed Ryan and our family over the past year, but really, the past three weeks that we have had with Ryan were a MIRACLE.

Heavenly Father was listening and answering prayers. He blessed Ryan and our family, to have the time we needed to say goodbye... to laugh, to cry, to love and to make some cherished and unforgettable memories.

Ryan has returned back Home...he is free.

He is missed, loved and will never be forgotten.

Welcome Home my Love... Welcome Home

Happiness...

Point Mugu State Beach, California

This was a text that Ryan sent back to a friend today who asked how things were going:

...took a two hour nap on the beach...ate fresh cherries and whole milk... LIFE IS GREAT!

***It REALLY is***

Prayers for the Harder's

*

I have been in contact with a mother whose son was diagnosed with the same Hepatosplenic T-Cell Lymphoma as Ryan.

She notified me to let me know that Rob had fought the fight and courageously returned to be with our Father in Heaven once again. He is HOME, back to where he can live peacefully, free from sickness and pain.

Although I have never had the privilege of meeting Rob, I KNOW that he is a fighter and that he will be reunited with his family once again.

Please keep the Harder family in your prayers, so they can continue to receive the strength and peace they need at this time.

~God Bless You Harder Family~

Feeling SO good...

I cannot even begin to tell you how wonderful another week has been.

Ryan is doing so well that we are going out.

Yes, you read that correctly.

We are GOING out on a date!

Yay Ryan... Yay Me...

Yay US!

***GO TEAM RYAN***

This past week...

This past week has been AMAZING!

Ryan is still feeling well and we have been having an unbelievably good time with him.

We are so grateful for all these good days. Heavenly Father is answering prayers by allowing us to have this time with Ryan.

Memories are being made that will NEVER be forgotten.

***

Thank you friends and family for all the love you have shown our family.

Thank you for all those who have provided meals, helped watch our children, donated Federal Leave, given financially and so MUCH more. We are so grateful for all those who have offered prayers on behalf of our family.

Our family has been continually blessed from so many generous, loving people.

~THANK YOU~

***GO TEAM RYAN***

I wanted to let everyone know that a lot has happened in the past week. Ryan has not been doing well and we knew things were not looking good. At his appointment this week, we were told that more treatment is not an option at this point because his body is not recovering the way it needs to in order to receive more chemo.

So, we will be starting hospice today and the doctor is giving Ryan approximately 2 weeks.

Although we feel much sadness, we also have so much joy in our hearts with the knowledge that we have:

We KNOW that this is God's will and that Ryan will return to be with our Heavenly Father, free of pain and sickness... he will be whole again. We KNOW that because we were married and sealed together in God's holy house, that we will be a family, forever. We KNOW that the Lord will continue to provide the strength and comfort that we will need to get through this. We KNOW that God loves us and we are NOT alone.

"When thou are in tribulation, and all these things are come upon thee, even in the latter days, if thou turn to the Lord thy God, and shalt be obedient unto his voice; (For the Lord thy God is a merciful God; he will not forsake thee...)" Deuteronomy 4:30-31

Thank you all for the continued prayers, fasts and for all the love and support!

*UPDATE*

Monday

At Ryan's appointment, he was running a slight fever. They did the standard tests to check for any possible infection: blood and urine cultures, and scheduled a CAT scan. We were hoping for chemo, but his platelets were TOO low to receive more. Ryan's platelet count was only at 17 and they need to be at least 50 for more treatment....

Tuesday

Had the CAT scan

Wednesday

All tests came back negative. The CAT scan showed that his pneumonia is improving, but otherwise, nothing new. His hemoglobin was very low and he received two units of red blood for a nice little boost. Again, we were hoping for more chemo, but his platelets were still lagging. They did jump a tad bit ( to 21), but still not nearly enough.

So why NO platelet transfusion to bump up the platelets?

Every time Ryan has a platelet transfusion, his counts only increase by 2 or 3. Since the increase is so small, It would take WAY to many transfusions to get him to 50.

***

Ryan needs chemo in order to help suppress the cancer. Getting the cancer under control will allow him another shot at his brothers stem cells. Right now, Ryan is in limbo waiting for these counts to rise, which is NOT good for his aggressive cancer.

Ryan is still coughing quite a bit because of the pneumonia, but the cough is doing MUCH better. The mucositis is still painful, but Ryan is finally able to get softer foods and certain liquids down.

The next appointment for labs and check up is on Monday.

*Please pray that Ryan can continue to heal and that his counts can rise, so he can start treatment once again*

Keep up the fight Ry

We LOVE you

***GO TEAM RYAN***

HOME!

Ryan is HOME!

After 24 hours of being fever-free, they decided it was time to give Ryan the BOOT. He has been taking it easy and just enjoying every minute with the family.

He has an appointment today to see if he is ready for more chemo. His platelets need to be at least 50 in order to receive more... as of Saturday, they were only 13.

Let's hope his platelets continue to rise so he can get MORE chemo and get this cancer UNDER control!

***GO TEAM RYAN***