This past week, Ryan has felt exceptionally well and he has taken FULL advantage of it.

From Home Depot to the Farmer's Market, he is getting it ALL in.

He's spent a little bit each day doing this:

All his hard work has DEFINITELY been paying off:

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The kids have LOVED having Ryan home and feeling SO good!

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Green Valley Farmers Market

(This guy sells the BEST apples)

I HEART my boys:

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Then on Friday, Ryan and I were able to attend the Mesa Temple.

There is no other place to feel such PEACE and COMFORT...

what a blessing to live near a temple

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TODAY

We arrived at the Cancer Center @ 7:30 for labs and an appointment with the Nurse Practitioner.

They decided that even though his counts weren't up high enough, they could NOT afford to put off Chemo any longer. They will start Ry on Pralatrexate and monitor him to see how it affects his counts.

The Nurse Practitioner seemed much more hopeful and positive. Something that was VERY needed after last weeks appointment.

The chemo, Pralatrexate is given once a week for 6 weeks and the major side effects are mouth sores and GI tract sensitivity...nothing Ryan hasn't dealt with before.

There it is:

Isn't it crazy how that little syringe of CHEMO can do SO much damage?!?!?!

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So once Ryan came home, he decided to work on the car

...and change the oil

Since Ryan is feeling pretty good and doesn't have to be back for another week...

We are taking off...

Our plane leaves @ 6am and we are headed here:

Star Valley, WY

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Ryan is going to FIGHT this "monster" like no other, as he keeps living life to it's fullest!

***GO TEAM RYAN***

Faith and MIRACLES...

I know so many of you are wondering how the appointment went on Monday...

I don't even know what to say to answer that question. To say it went well or good, would be a complete lie. I won't even bother with statistics... I will just outline what was said:

-There is NO cure at this point

The ONLY cure would have been a successful transplant, meaning no relapse of cancer...Ryan's was not successful.

So what are Ryan's options?

-Do nothing, let things take their course...

or

THIS IS WHERE THE MIRACLE WILL TAKE PLACE

-Start chemo to try and get the cancer under control. If they cannot get the cancer under control, the next step cannot happen. Once under control, Ryan could then get more of his brothers cells.

Those cells will then go in, beat the cancer and put Ryan into remission.

If the cancer then comes back again...it's back for good.

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Ryan's counts are too low to start chemo now, so he goes back on Monday to check. If his counts are up, he will probably start chemo next week.

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We are faithful and putting complete trust in the Lord.

THANK YOU ALL for the prayers...keep them coming!

***GO TEAM RYAN***

It's back...

The biopsies both confirmed that the cancer is indeed back in both the liver and bone marrow. We are devastated from today's news.

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Ryan is back home from the hospital and we meet with a lymphoma specialist on Monday to talk about what happens next.

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I will let you know when we know more...

Thank you for the prayers!

♥

Margie and Ryan

***GO TEAM RYAN***

Last day of biopsies

Ryan got back from surgery, alone and in pain. Luckily, the combo of post-anesthesia grogginess and pain meds helped Ryan to get some sleep and a little more comfortable. He did need more transfusions (platelets and blood), so they started with the platelets first. He wasn't alone for too long, after only a few hours he was greeted by some very special visitors... his parents!

He slept on and off for most of the evening. When he was awake, he was in pain and really uncomfortable. Laying down put too much pressure on his chest, laying upright made him slide down the bed. He kept saying, "I just want to sleep on my stomach." One time I jokingly replied, "Ry, that's like me wanting to ride a bike after having a kid... it's just NOT gonna happen."

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So after adjusting the bed and himself MANY times... we finally got him comfortable:

...completely upright with the foot of the bed inclined and some pillows under each arm :)

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Tonight he has been woken up for vitals, pain meds and to empty this guy:

the Jackson-Pratt drain.

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During the night he would wake up and say (as his eyes were rolling to the back of his head) that crackers and cheese sounded good. I told him I would go to the store, but he was usually half asleep and telling me to stay, not go. After two times of talking about crackers and cheese, I headed off to the store for a late night snack.

When I got back to the room, Ryan was WIDE AWAKE and VERY excited.

Here he is after he was finished:

Such a HAPPY Ry!

It's GREAT what some rest, better position and a little morphine and OXI will do for you!

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He is now comfortable and asleep... probably dreaming about cars, 1970 Chevy Trucks and other such things.

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Lastly, I couldn't forget this lovely picture form my littlest photographer. An up close picture of my bed tonight

...the window seat.

How happy I am to be here tonight. After a week of being husband-less at night, we are TOGETHER once again.

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I also need to give a special thanks to the WONDERFUL staff here. There are some nurses that really go ABOVE and BEYOND, and it means so much!

Thank you for all your hard work and for making this stay as GOOD as it could be.

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***GO TEAM RYAN***

Waiting...

What to do when dad is gone and you are waiting for him to come out of surgery?

Watch a movie and drink some apple juice.

I talked with the cardiothoracic surgeon and she said that the surgery went GREAT! They were able to take a quality piece of the pericardium to biopsy and Ryan has a drainage tube in to help with any remaining fluid they didn't get out.

So far all is well. Ryan is still in post op and we are waiting to hear any news of the liver biopsy...

***GO.TEAM.RYAN***

How's Ryan?

Hungry, thirsty, tired, feeling weak....in pain.

Yesterday Ryan had to fast all day long because of the liver biopsy. He had thrown up the night before so he REALLY had nothing in the belly. When he could finally eat yesterday, he couldn't eat much because his stomach has really shrunk from not eating much.

Then today, he was told he could have clear liquids until 10am and then, NOTHING else. Well, he went to bed at midnight after getting his IV in and then had some night sweats throughout the night... waking up at 9:15 didn't leave him much time to get any fluids in.

To help pass the time, the hunger and the thirst, he slept for much of today.

They were hoping to have him down between 12 and 2 for today's biopsy...it was pushed back until 3:30.

Right before they took him down for the biopsy, he had his vitals done. He was running a temp... SO, time for blood cultures, which is standard procedure to check for any infection that may be causing a fever. By this point Ryan was NOT feeling well. The combo of starvation, slight headache and a fever made for an uncomfortable Ry.

Around 4 they wheeled Ryan down to Ambulatory Surgery and about an hour later they started the biopsy.

The PA who did the biopsy said it went GREAT!

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Tomorrow he will have his Pericaridal Window surgery. I asked if there is ANY way possible to move the surgery to a morning slot.... 3 days of fasting all day can't be good. So he goes in tomorrow at 9am!

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I am now back at home and just spoke with Ryan briefly. He is coughing a ton and ready for some pain meds. I am praying for a better night tonight...

Throughout all of this, Ryan has been quite the trooper. I know he is a little depressed to be back in the hospital, but he is trying his best to just make the best of it.

Q and A are back...

Q: Will there be family coming to help any time soon?

A: First, I just have to say thank you to the friends that have helped with the kids so that it is possible for me to be at the hospital with Ryan. THANK YOU!!!

YES, Ryan's parents will be here tomorrow!!!:)

Q: What is the Pericardial Effusion/Window Surgery?

A: Pericardial effusion is the fluid around the heart. The reason for the surgery is to drain the fluid that is putting pressure on his heart. His heart cannot pump blood and work effectively with all the fluid, so they go in to drain it. While they are draining the fluid, they will also take a piece of the heart sac and fluid to biopsy. The biopsy will hopefully give some answers as to why he got the fluid in the first place.

Q: When will you have answers to the biopsies?

A: Hopefully a preliminary on the liver biopsy tomorrow! I will let you all know as SOON as we find ANYTHING out.

Thank you again for keeping Ryan and our family in your prayers.

Love to all!

***GO TEAM RYAN***

News and ramblings...

1)Liver biopsy- DONE

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2)Bone marrow- Tomorrow

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3)Fluid around heart drainage and biopsy- Weds

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1) So after having to wait ALL day long, Ryan FINALLY had his liver biopsy. The last time he had it done they went in through the belly. NOT THIS TIME.

They went in through his neck, right at the jugular.

It went well and we should get results back in the next few days.

Since the biopsy was done so late, I was able to go home to pick up the kids and come back so we could have dinner as a family. I went and picked up the kids and a very kind someone made us a DELISH dinner and homemade bread. Ryan waited all day to eat and when we did finally eat around 6:30, we scarfed it. It was so great to spend time as family, doing a typical family thing...

~I just LOVE my family~

As I tucked Hallie into bed, she said, "Can we go eat breakfast with Daddy tomorrow?"

I laughed and said, "Hallie, it takes over a half hour just to get there, we would have to leave here at 5:30 to get you to school on time. PLUS, Dad would be sleeping then..."

Innocently she says, "Well, what about 10?"

I chuckle again, "Hallie, we can't go at 10, you have school."

Hallie: "I know, but that's when I have RECESS"

L.O.V.E that girl

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2) The bone marrow will be done under anesthesia- WOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!

You may not realize how big of a deal this is, but it IS! They first told Ryan they were NOT going to put him out for various (lame) reasons. BUT, after much discussing between us and them... and then amongst the "team," they decided they would schedule a room and an anesthesiologist for the procedure.

I have to say, that was probably the BEST news Ryan/we heard ALL DAY!!!

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3) The fluid around Ryan's heart?

They don't know why it is there, but we DO know it needs to be drained. When it is being drained, they will also biopsy some in order to get some answers as to why the fluid is there. It is scheduled for Weds.

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I texted Ryan at 10pm to see if he was still up

GETTING IV was his reply.

He texted me back 10:25

I've had two attempts at iv's so they are getting a different nurse

Then again at 10:45

They are getting a third nurse to try

:(

FINALLY at 11:25

Ok they got it!

I know Ryan has LOVED having his CATH line gone. But I know it is times like this that he, and I am sure the nurses, wish he had his line back in! The "team" is considering putting one back in...

I SO miss this *guy*

I'll be back to posting more tomorrow... G'night.

***GoTeamRyan***

What we know...

Since Ryan has been admitted, they take the daily blood labs to check his WBC, and a BUNCH of other things, they have been running blood cultures every time he runs a fever (which has been almost daily), they have done a chest X ray(to check for any chest/respiratory problems) and an echocardiogram (they found fluid around his heart and wanted to be sure everything else was working okay there).

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Here is what we DO know:

-All test results that have come back thus far have all been negative

-His daily blood labs are still not looking good.

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The Dr's believe it could be 1 of 3 things that are causing Ryan to be sick:

- GVH

(graft vs host, which is the body rejecting the donor cells)

-Infection

-Lymphoma

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So what happens next?

Liver biopsy and the DREADED bone marrow biopsy.

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Ryan is currently finishing up his blood transfusion and he will then start his platelet transfusion. When all transfusions are done, he will be wheeled down into the Interventional Radiology Lab where he will have his LIVER biopsy done.

Tomorrow he will have his bone marrow biopsy done. These results of these two tests should give the doctors the much needed answers that we are all waiting to hear.

In the meantime, we all just wait until we find out more.

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Ryan is not happy to be here. He just wants to be back home... where we ALL want him to be.

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Thank you for all the PRAYERS...keep them coming!

***GO TEAM RYAN***

PS... Ryan just woke up and I read him what I wrote on the blog. I asked him about a song to put on for this post and this was one of the FIRST ones that came to his mind... it brings a smile to my face! Let's hope that Ryan is out these doors soon and ON THE ROAD AGAIN!!!

*Yeehaw*

Prayers for Ryan

Ryan is back in the hospital.

The Doctors don't know yet what exactly is wrong and he is getting a LOT of tests done in the meantime.

He received two units of blood today and has been able to FINALLY hold his food down- he's been VERY nauseas the past week and half...

I will keep you all updated via the blog.

Thank you for the continued prayers!

***GO TEAM RYAN***

The big 3...OHhhhhh

What a year.

Who'd ever think that turning 30 would be SUCH a big deal.

It is!

(If you aren't sure why, go to the first post on this blog and read on...)

What can I say to describe Ryan besides being just a good ole' Wyoming boy?

Well, he is one of the most loyal, trustworthy people you will EVER meet. He is super mellow and a HUGE tease. He LOVES cars and being outside. He is a GREAT husband and father. He is a fighter, is very sincere and just a good, good guy...

I think anyone who knows him, will totally agree with me.

Take some time to check out this country cutie, back in the day...

Ryan has ALWAYS had a love for the outdoors...

Look at those CURLS... i LOVE it!!!!

A dance recital...

(...dance only lasted ONE year)

Can you guess who Ryan is with here?

He grew up with some of the BEST friends...EVER

CBS crew

The CUTEST little wrestler I've EVER seen!

Ryan would have stayed outside playing all day long

on a date before we were married

Most recent pix of Ry...with HAIR :)

I just want to cry right now because I feel so happy. So happy that Ryan is HOME and feeling well enough to celebrate.

So much to CELEBRATE and SO much to be THANKFUL for!

Happy Birthday to my country boy.

Love YOU!

Happy Valentines Day Margie!

Wow, what a year for us! Tomorrow makes 1 year since I first started to feel sick. (it took 3 and 1/2 months before I was diagnosed.) Throughout this time Margie has stood by me and tried to makes things as easy as possible for me. I know that many of these days she must have felt like a single mom with an extra kid, but she just kept going and has always remained positive which has helped me through this and has given me hope. Back in 2007 I was spending a month in Colorado for one of my school rotations working at the VA hospital in Denver. Margie's birthday was that month and I couldn't be with her and the kids so I made her a little slideshow of some of my favorite pictures and memories from our marriage. I've decided to share it with everyone and to publicly thank Margie again for being such a great wife and my best friend. The song that plays along has always meant a lot to me and the version used in this show was recorded by two of my friends that I met while in podiatry school back in Kenosha. Thanks for sharing your great musical talent Matt and JJ! Hope you like it!